ROTF Megatron Versus ROTF Optimus: Only Transformers could make me want to buy a Slurpee from 7-11.
I remain terrified about the upcoming theatrical release for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Not because I’m a purist who can’t get behind a different interpretation but because of what I fear passes for humour these days.
The first movie can be broken down into a three act play. The first act - an invasion of very scary robots - I can, and did, get behind. Very scary robots equals very freakin’ cool. The third act - good versus evil with big giant robots that smash building and ping humans - is more than satisfying. Even the goofy lines I can overlook for effects and the dialogue that works.
It’s the second act I continue to have issues with. A series of “humourous” set-ups and lines involving urinating (sorry - “lubricating”), masturbation and “my bad!” (the worst line in the world in my view!) - well, in the words of Bill Shatner and Henry Rollins, “I can’t get behind that!“
PVC Optimus and ROTF Prime: Prime is clearly calling Wheeljack for a special stand for his descendant.
As plasticcrack.com illustrated earlier today, with a preview of a sequence featuring ROTF Wheelie, there are parts of the sequel that are aiming for the same vein. My worst fear is that they will overwhelm anything remotely satisfying about the film. And while I may be tired of hearing, in response to any expressed interest in Transformers, “so you must be excited about the new movie” (mainly because I cannot parse the sentiment expressed here into the 15 second response they are expecting), I am excited about the movie. Or I should say I WANT to be excited for this film. I want it to be great! or at least watchable. I want to WANT to see it a second time, and a fifth for good measure. I don’t want “so you must be excited about the new movie” to be replaced with “man, that movie sucked!” followed by pointed laughter. (This concern by the way ultimately makes me really happy right now that I am not a G.I.Joe fanatic given recent rumours there.)
ROTF Megatron versus PVC Megatron: Autobot Leaders have the Matrix; Decepticon Leaders get the Laserbeak.
It’s not that I want or need the acceptance of others on this. Or that I even want or need Transformers to be Citizen Kane. I just want to enjoy a movie about transforming robots that will not make me feel like an idiot for continuing to invest time and energy into this hobby.
And, being a mark for the marketers, I also don’t want to have to turn down cool marketing (dammit!) because I know I’ll regret having multiple copies of the inevitable DVD release on my shelf. (Disclaimer: I have five copies of the first movie in my collection: the FutureShop Autobot Steelbook, the two-pack edition from the evil store featuring the animated prequel with Peter Cullen (thanks Shannon!), the transforming Optimus Prime edition (copies of which were shared with other robot fans), the more recently released transforming Megatron edition, and the long-sought after, eBay-acquired U.S. Best Buy Robot Heroes edition with Optimus and Cliffjumper movie heroes, so I know my natural susceptibility to corporate manipulation).
ROTF The Fallen versus PVC Overlord: No more bright colours for you.
Fundamentally, I like tie-ins, and, while they overwhelm my home, I like the excitement of bring home new plastic (even if the off-gassing is surely going to kill me…) Which brings me, in a round-about way, to what was suppose to be the topic of this post. On the way home from work tonight, I stopped in at the 7-11 to discover their latest promotional tie-in to “Revenge of the Fallen.” In this case, it is the availability of small 3″ plastic renditions of Optimus Prime, Megatron, the Fallen and Bumblebee that are attached to plastic Slurpee straws and can be purchased for CDN$1.99 each, as well as reusable Transformers cups of Optimus, Megatron, Ravage and Bumblebee that, with Slurpee beverage, can be brought home for $2.29.
Sharing a drink with my new Botcon friend: Dignity? What dignity?
I gotta say that I’m quite impressed with the figures. Although they lack the limited articulation and posture of the more expensive Transformers SCF / Heroes of Cybertron that were available in the early part of the decade, they look like they should be a natural extension of the line. And I was especially pleased to pick up Optimus, Megatron and the Fallen without the purchase of separate Slurpees. The only character they didn’t have - Bumblebee - will clearly require a stop at another 7-11 later tonight.
Anyway, suffice to say that I’m already being drawn in by promotions for the movie in some cases. I just hope that Revenge of the Fallen, just two short weeks away, lets me maintain my dignity. Or at least what passes for dignity in my house these days.
Transformer of the Day for June 14, 2009
